I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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