I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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