Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
