her vagine was all disorganized.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
