I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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