I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't deserve a penis
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
