Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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