if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
