Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
