She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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