do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
