u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
