I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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