We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
