you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
