When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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