I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
