I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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