We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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