Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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