I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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