Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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