I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
