MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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