I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
