I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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