I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My dick has a subreddit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
