they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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