whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
