Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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