This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
