I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
