So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
