Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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