Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
