so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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