Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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