to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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