Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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