My balls are so social today.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
