Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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