She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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