I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
