If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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