The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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