dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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