I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't deserve a penis
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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