Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
