Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
