I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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