walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize