NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize