Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize