Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
