Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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