Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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