UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize