He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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