There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
