I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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