singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
