I heard we made out
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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