weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
