just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize