I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
