Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
